Every cancer is treated differently; dosage and schedules for infusions vary greatly. It surprised me as I met other patients in the infusion center, to learn that some had to come in every day or had to wear a device that gave them doses every few hours.

My infusions were administered once every 21 days. I had two completely different infusion medications with four sessions each. So my Chemotherapy lasted six months all together.
I chose not to get a “port” installed but to have each one administered via IV directly into my arm or hand. My hands have the best veins so that was usually the choice. I think for patients who have chemo every day or even a couple times a week would benefit from the port but in my case it just seemed an unnecessary procedure. This may or may not be a choice left to the patient in some treatment centers.

Chemo round #1 four sessions, three weeks apart.
This infusion group took about two hours to administer and I had no side effects for about 24 hours. Then I felt nausea and very weak for several days, just like having the flu. I had spent about 5 days at home, mostly in bed sleeping. I had no appetite at all and had difficulty eating until about the sixth day. Just the smell of any food was very distasteful. After a week I would feel pretty much like myself again.  So I would have two weeks of reprieve before the next infusion. By this time I had healed enough from the surgery to start working again in my studio making glass art. Trying to get back into some normal routine really helps you not focus just on health issues. It was a great distraction to be able to go there and work. My Oncologist recommended avoiding public places if possible because this first medication made my white cell count very low and therefore more susceptible to infections or colds.

Side effects, compliments of Chemo...
Because of my lowered resistance all kinds of unpleasant side effects started cropping up. I got ache and lumps all over my chest and back. Twice I had an outbreak of thrush in my mouth, a white fungus that had to be treated with prescription lozenges. I had several small hemorrhoids pop up but the worst was a bad case of vaginal warts! (Itchy and really ugly) All of these side effects were only with the first medication so in twelve weeks every one of those went away.

Losing your hair…
My hair did not start falling out until week three; first it was in small clumps, then large clumps.  I found this disturbing so I decided to cut it all off.  In retrospect I would not recommend the “burr” haircut I got, but a very short scissor cut. We took some clippers to mine. It was easier to clean up the short hairs but my head became so sensitive that putting on a hat hurt. I don’t know if it was due to the “stubbles” or just the medications, but it really was a bit painful to the touch. I did not loose my eyebrows or eyelashes until the second group of medication. You don’t realize how much difference that makes in the way you look. I felt like I looked like one of the aliens on that old TV series “Alien Nation”. I bought a really cute wig but it was itchy and hot. I found I really did not want to wear it unless we were going out with friends or I had an art event or opening. (I did not want to scare off any potential buyers or commissions) I don’t feel very comfortable with most hats so I wore pink or white baseball caps some of time. I made several lightweight knit jersey head covers in solids and a few patterns that I wore most of the time. My head got cold easily and I felt awkward going out baldheaded. Some women are lucky enough to be pretty with no hair, I certainly did not feel I fall into that category.

Chemo round #2 four sessions, three weeks apart.
This infusion group took almost four hours to administer and they gave me a medication first with a sedative to counter any reaction to the administration. This one sometimes made my arm ache during the process. This is not unusual as the potential reaction is pain. My oncologist thought this group of medication would be easier to deal with than the last. He did say I might have some discomfort in my back and legs. I did not notice so much pain during the day but when I went to bed my hands and feet really started to ache. I had pain pills left over from the surgery so I took those most nights and Advil during the day. The amount of pain varied for each infusion but the last one was the worst. I am not sure if there was a cumulative effect or it just hit me harder.

More side effects…
I did start getting the “sweats” with this medication. I would wake up in the middle of the night and my nightgown and sheets would be wet. Sometimes during the day my head and face would just get sweaty but it was not like having hot flashes all over. Forget makeup during this period! I would wash my head and face with a cool washcloth and that would feel great. I found it difficult to concentrate and stay focused on anything with this medication so I did some Internet research. People refer to it as “chemo brain”. It is real, believe me, it does effect your memory, ability to focus and overall perception.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, this much stuff being pumped into you to kill the cancer is going to take its toll on you mentally as well as physically.

Depression and Anxiety…
I started feeling more anxious and began to experience mild panic attacks. I just did not feel like I could relax at all and enjoy the little things I used to, like time spent with friends and family. Mornings were the worst, I could not sit down or stay in one spot and would go from one chore to another to distract myself. I did more housecleaning and tidying up than I had ever done in my life. I was organizing, straightening and fixing everything around the house. It was absolutely obsessive behavior but I think it was way for me to feel I had some control. The littlest things really bothered me and I would start obsessing over really weird insignificant or irrelevant details.

Talking about it and asking for help...
I asked my oncologist if this was normal with chemo and would I start "getting better”?  He could not commit to a time frame but assured me I would feel like myself eventually. My radiologist prescribed some anti-anxiety pills and then I started obsessing over taking them!
I made an appointment to see my GP and told him how crummy I was feeling. He said, where is that Susan who says "hey, I've got cancer but I am soooo happy"? I told him she wasn't around much anymore! He advised me to just take the anti-anxiety pills as needed and not stress over it! He was right, I was beating myself up over feeling bad about needing some help. (So I told myself... Give yourself a break already! You are not going to get addicted or overly dependant.)

Light at the end of the tunnel...
I took one of the pills here and there for a couple of weeks and before I knew it I was coming out of it. It did take some time, but I could feel the improvement each week. When you are down, everything feels so dark and you think you will never feel okay again. But it did eventually pass and now I feel like me again. Coming out on the other side is a really big deal!! Don't let anyone tell you this is an easy trip.